Future Problems

I went to the gym today for the first time in three months. I have not been allowed to go because of my eating disorder because I was not healthy enough to endure much physical exercise. I was there for a half hour before my friend got there and I saw so many young people there. By young I mean around 10 years old. It was really scary for me seeing them there because I was so worried that they will develop some sort of disorder. It is so wonderful to want to be fit and in shape. Unfortunately, all too often it turns into something much more than that. Three healthy meals a day turns into one or two. And  those one or two turn into maybe an apple every morning. I don't want to sound presumptuous because maybe those kids just wanted to feel good, which is so awesome, but I couldn't help but think about how my disorder started. Ugh, I've had enough of thinking about this for the night. I'm very sorry if this triggered anyone.

Did I just sign up for this?

I really don't even know what I am doing. I don't understand this site. I don't understand it at all.. I'm going to just use this as a venting place because I need somewhere to get this shit out. My life is a constant jumble of crap mixed in with the occasional piece of glitter. Those glittery pieces are few and far between, and honestly I like it better that way. At this point, I'm more comfortable with my sickness and crap all jumbled in a pile-like thing that should really be addressed but isn't. So, I guess just enjoy my rambling on and on.